May 18, 2021

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My wife inherited $800K. She put $300K toward our mortgage and $500K in her own bank account — after 35 years of marriage

Dear Quentin,

I’ve been married for 35 years.

My wife is going to inherit $ 800,000 and has told me that she will use $ 300,000 to pay off our mortgage. The house is worth $ 450,000. But she will deposit the remaining $ 500,000 into her personal checking account.

I’m 65 and I’m still working. I make $ 130,000 a year and plan to work another five years as long as I’m in good health.

My wife retired two years ago at the age of 59 after working 13 years making $ 20,000 a year. She stayed mostly at home and helped raise our two children, who are now adults with their own jobs.

My wife gets a small pension and I get a pension too. We have no savings, no 401 (k), nothing. I paid for my kids’ college education. We own a car. I have nearly $ 80,000 in credit card debt. My wife has a credit card debt of $ 2,800.

What do you think of the way she handled her legacy? If we get divorced, will I have to pay her alimony?

I have been working since I was 16 years old

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Dear work,

Don’t let your frustration with this legacy, or the fact that you’ve worked for 16 years, force you into something rash. Your wife used more than a third of that money to pay off your joint mortgage. Inheritance is not considered a property of the community, so it clearly takes time to decide what to do with it. While this feels like a slap in the face after 35 years of marriage, she is legally entitled to do so, and personally entitled to do so.

You’re not saying why you have $ 80,000 in credit card debt and your wife is only $ 2,800. Assuming it isn’tAlso, due to your children’s college spending, this inequality can show that you have different spending habits and skills to manage your money. That’s a lot of money to have on your credit card, and once you’ve put that money up on various expenses, I can understand why your wife didn’t think it was her responsibility to pay off your personal debts.


Imagine turning the tables and putting $ 300,000 of your inheritance into this house. Then your wife turned and said, “Thank you for paying back part of our mortgage, but I think this is a good time to get a divorce. ‘

Given the income differences, I can understand why you feel the way you do. But that doesn’t take into account being a home mom, which in itself is a full-time job. That, and her $ 20,000-a-year job, suggest she did her fair share of time and work more than contributed to the marriage.

And while she was paid less than you, let’s assume she worked as hard as anyone over those 13 years. Conclusion: you both worked.

Your maintenance question will likely depend on where you live, your individual circumstances, the judge, and the size of the inheritance. Previous cases have shown that the income from an inheritance can be a factor in determining maintenance, although the inheritance is generally considered to be a separate property. You were the main breadwinner, and based on previous cases of inheritance it is unlikely be an important factor in upkeep.

Think of it this way: she just added $ 300,000 to your life together when she could have kept all the money and got a divorce you. Imagine turning the tables and putting $ 300,000 of your inheritance into this house. Then your wife turned and said, “Thank you for paying back part of our mortgage, but I think this is a good time to get a divorce. ”

If you feel angry now, then you would be absolutely angry.

The money is:My fiancée’s mother asked us to raise her two children as we live in a good school district and she is addicted to games – then she asked for her stimulus checks

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